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PARENTING
FEW TIPS ON HOW TO BE THE BEST PARENT YOU CAN BE
- Be a nurturing parent
Children need to know that they are special and loved. Educate yourself about a child's developmental process so you ca have a reasonable expectations about what your child can and cannot do.
- Help yourself
When the big and little problems of everyday life pile up to the points where you feel overwhelmed and out of control, take time out. Don't take it out on your child. Take a deep breath, turn on some music. Know where you can turn for help when you need it.
- If your baby cries
It can be frustrating to hear your baby cry, especially when nothing you do seems to work. Learn what to do if your baby won't stop crying. But, never shake a baby.
- Monitor your child's television and computer use
Watching violent films on TV or playing violent computer games can harm young children. Not only does it scare them, it also teaches children that aggression is a good way to handle frustration and solve problems.
Spend time playing with your children or read to them instead
- Report suspected abuse or neglect
Keeping children safe is the responsibility of every adult in our community. If you have reason to believe a child has been-or may be-harmed, call Bantay Bata 163.
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NURTURING TOUCH ACTUALLY ENHANCES LEARNING
- Children who are trained to recognize how certain touches feel to them and who are encouraged to express their feelings are allowed to tell the teacher when something does not feel good.
- Training children to protect themselves can take a great deal of pressure off the teacher and reinstate positive touch as a part of learning.
- Children accustomed to being beaten at home may actually appear to invite such discipline, assuming that, like their home situation, it is the only attention they can get or to which they are entitled.
SOME MYTHS OF CHILD REARING
As in every sphere of human endeavor the way in which we raise our children has a number of myths woven in among truths. Fortunately, in recent years several of the more harmful myths have fallen out of favor. Among them are "The parent's world is Law", "To admit an error on your part would lessen your parental authority," "Spare the rod and spoil the child" and so on.
1. Punishment teaches children to improve their behavior.
- Rather than teaching children to improve their behavior, PUNISHMENT ACTUALLY DOES THE OPPOSITE.
- Good behavior results from good feelings.
- Parents should try to break away from the notion that, by making their children feel bad, they will turn into little angels.
- Remember that the child who lives with punishment doesn't come to his parents for advice or consolation when he needs it most. And when he has his own family someday, he will almost surely fall into the same pattern of punishment.
2. Children need to learn obedience.
- Babies and toddlers need supervision and guidance to ensure their safety and well being as they learn to cope with the world. But, supervision and guidance, which are born out of love, concern and common sense, are different "teaching obedience."
- Obedience can be much better internalized through other means aside from spanking, beating, shouting, etc.
- Reasoning with your child is one way. Another is by having regular "family meetings" at which each child has a say in how certain situations will be handled and what consequences he will abide by if he goes against "family policies."
3. Parents should not be friends to their children.
- This myth has to do with the old idea that parents are somehow superior to children.
- Actually, mutual respect, cooperation and shared responsibility are much more effective.
4. Problems must be dealt with immediately.
- Don't feel obliged to face the situation right at the moment. Take a breather. Let your child know that you need a cooling off period, then get back to him when you are better able to discuss things calmly.
UNLOCKING YOUR CHILDREN'S POTENTIAL: A how-to guide
As parents, we all have the responsibility of unlocking our children's potential. First and foremost, parents must have a heightened sensitivity to their children: their interests, concerns and needs. With today's fast-paced lifestyle, this is isn't always easy to do, many parents barely have enough time to kiss the kids when they leave for school in the morning, then tuck them into bed at night.
But no matter what our schedules are like, we must make that extra effort to spend time exclusively with our children- listening to, observing and enjoying them. This is the only way we can sense the special abilities and talents that our children may have. Once we spot these gifts, then we can help encourage them.
There are only two things, however, which child psychologists always warn parents against. First, parents must resist the temptation to push their kids into fulfilling the parent's own dreams. They must be extra careful in asking themselves, "Is this something I wish he could excel in?" And second, parents must beware of stereotyping their own children. Stereotyping puts unfair limits on the tremendous potential of children. Avoid it. Parents should keep their eyes and ears open to other interests their kids may express, and then try and provide opportunities for those interests to flourish.
23 SIGNALS OF CREATIVITY: A CHECKLIST
- Intense absorption in listening, observing and doing.
- Intense animation and physical involvement.
- Use of analogies in speech.
- Tendency to challenge ideas of authority.
- Habit of checking many sources.
- Taking a close look at things.
- Eagerness to tell others about discoveries.
- Continuing in creative activities after scheduled time for quitting.
- Showing relationships among apparently unrelated ideas.
- Following through on ideas set in motion.
- Various manifestations of curiosity and wanting to know.
- Spontaneous use of discovery or experimental approach.
- Excitement in voice about discoveries.
- Habit of questioning and testing outcomes.
- Honesty and intense search for truth.
- Independent action.
- Boldness of new ideas.
- Low distractibility.
- Manipulation of ideas and objects to get new combinations (capacity to integrate).
- Penetrating observations and questions.
- Tendency to seek alternatives and explore new possibilities.
- Self-initiated learning.
- Willingness to consider or toy with new ideas.
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PARENTS AND CHILDREN'S IQ
IQ stands for intelligence quotient. This is the score obtained from the administration of an intelligence test. The tests usually include a series of questions, puzzles, problems that indicate the general level at which a child is performing. The quotient is obtained by dividing the mental age scored by the child by his actual age. Some tests can be administered to children as early as age three. Most them are non-verbal or performance tests which means that the child merely identifies or answers the questions by pointing, talking, manipulating, or solving puzzles. There is actual pencil and paper work involved.
Therefore the child has not need to know how to read and write. Pre-school test usually take this form. We can estimate the mental level of children reasonably. Some intelligence tests are highly reliable in measuring the child's mental ability at the time they are given. However, many factors are involved which affect the child's performance. They are state of health, social and emotional environment, family background, geographical location, reading opportunities and exposure to various stimuli. A child who obtained an above-average score is the single test may be subjected to unreasonable demands from his parents. For correct guidance, the following are certain modifying information about intelligence test:
- The IQ often varies within 5 points one way or the other in its reading. A score of 105 therefore may be broadly considered as between 100 to 110.
- The IQ can fluctuate as the child grows. It is influenced by physical health, such as an eye defect and emotional state.
- Intelligence tests measure not only general abilities but also the following kinds of mental abilities:
- Verbal comprehension: understanding with ear or eye the meaning of words.
- Space: the ability, for example of a toddler to maneuver a toy wagon between pieces of furniture.
- Number: simple arithmetic ability to add, subtract, divide and multiply.
- Word Fluency: the capacity for writing and talking. Reasoning: considered the most important of the primary mental abilities. It is the ability to work out problems, make plans, foresee consequences, and benefit from person's experience.
- Memory: the ability to remember, whether it is telephone numbers, poems or something that happened several years ago.
- Perception: the ability to see the differences and similarities between objects.
The value, therefore of knowing your child's general IQ and specific abilities help parents and teachers make accurate assessments of the child's strengths and weaknesses. Knowing in what specific line in a child excels is very helpful in the choice of activities in school or in his future choice of a career.
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